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The first thing that I did when I got laid off was unplug my alarm clock and toss in into the back of my closet. I’ve lost track of the concept of time. When I’m tired, I sleep, and when I want to do something, I get up and do it. So its 6 in the morning, and I’ll probably be up for another 3 hours.

I’m not really a night person. I just enjoy having a different schedule than everyone else. Being awake when everyone else is asleep. Going out when everyone else is at work. I think if I had to pick my favorite time of day, it’d probably be 5 in the morning. That time right before the sun rises.

When I think of all the 20+ hours shifts I worked, I guess I have fond memories. Delirium takes over. Riding Razer scooters and quoting Street Fighter: The Movie and Tokyo Drift. I remember working overtime on a Sunday, coming home around midnight or something. Back to work at 10AM the next day. Monday is a milestone deadline. Fuck it. We’re going all night. Got in 10AM Monday morning, didn’t leave till 6AM Tuesday. Of course, I didn’t go home. I hit the gym, half dead, did some circuit training and did cardio for an hour. I came home and crashed HARD. Coming down off sugar snacks and red bulls. I think to myself sometimes, was it really worth killing myself for some stupid video game. I can’t really come up with an answer, but I had a lot of fun.

As far as the job hunt goes–I’ve put some feelers out. Even had a couple of prospects. But so far nothing has really come out of it. I know the economy is pretty terrible right now, but I dunno. I live cheap. I can afford to hold out for a little while longer, money wise. So I figure I’ll stick it out for a little while longer, until I find something I really want to do.

GAMING CONTENT: I’m pretty much done with WoW. I haven’t logged in for a while. I was leveling a deathknight for a while. But I realized it was all pretty pointless. I dunno, I just have no desire to play. Maybe after all these years, I’m finally done. Who knows.

I have been playing a whole lot of TF2. I feel like I’m getting better. I keep setting small goals for myself–kill:death ratios, HLXStats, stuff like that. I’m pretty decent with the Heavy, Pyro (lol low skill caps, rite?), solid with the Soldier, and getting better with the Demo. Pyro was my favorite class for a while, but I’m starting play Heavy pretty exclusively. But that’s probably because ever since they added crosshairs, playing a heavy has been ridiculously easy. POINT CLICK DIE.

When I have no obligations, I’m pretty terrible with time management. I’m always going to struggle with finding time to get the meaningful things in life done. I want to write more. Draw more. Play more. Get out more. Travel more. All that. I know no one is reading this, but if on the off chance you come here looking for 53/18 paladin specs or whatever, leave a comment or something.

PEACE

written by Quickoats

I’ve spent the better part of the last 2 days sitting in a courtroom.

TEDIOUS WORK.

That’s the only way I can describe our justice system.  But I take comfort.  There are no shortcuts.  Everyone is treated the same.  Equal rights, due process, all that.  I walk away though with respect and admiration.

How many times have I wanted to take a shortcut?  I think back to all the overtime hours and busy weekends, slaving away in a hot, smelly room.   The noise of 360 fans constantly whining in my ear.  Just pass the level, and we can all go home.  All I want is to be home, in bed, away from the idea of work.

How many times have I given into my temptations?  What did I sacrifice?  Integrity?  Quality?  My reputation?   Because I just wanted to go home and watch HBO or log on and farm gold for my Paladin.

It doesn’t happen often.  I’m thankful for that.  But we all have our regrets.  We lay awake in our bed, wondering about the what ifs.

I walk away from my jury service in awe of the dedication that our judges, clerks, bailiffs, etc have towards the ideal of justice.  These are people who cannot afford to take shortcuts.  The system doesn’t always work ideally, and mistakes have happened.  But in my life, I can only hope to match that dedication these people have to the things they value.

Its the kind of dedication that goes beyond just earning a paycheck.  I wonder where it comes from.  Do I have that same motivation inside of me?

I can’t say I’m unhappy about not being selected for the jury.  But I am glad I had the opportunity to participate, even if it just meant sitting through 2 days of jury selection.  I listened to people moan and groan.  I listened to people do everything and say anything they could to get out of service.  But its all about perspective.  If I can learn something new about myself, how much has it really cost me?

written by Quickoats \\ tags: notvideogames

The year 2008 was a great year for me.

After 2 years of working at the bottom, I finally managed to start moving up in the Game Industry.  While the year didn’t end the way I would have liked, I’m really looking forward to the new opportunities the New Year will bring.

Besides finally making progress toward my career goals, I’m really happy with how I’ve expanding both my social and business network.  I met so many great people in 2008, more so than any other year since I’ve been working.  I’m especially grateful to have met people with expertise in a wide variety of disciplines–entrepreneurship, web development, video/film production.  I truly felt like my own skills have grown because of their support.

My goals for 2009 are pretty simple, but I’ll have to work hard to achieve them.

1.  Build a career-  In 2008 I got my first taste of working as a producer (well, assistant producer).  It wasn’t easy for me.  There are times, when the pressure got to me, and I wondered if I was really right for this kind of job.  But I’ve come to realize that in my time as a producer, I’ve been forced to challenge myself, to address my weaknesses and overcome them.  And now, I want even greater challenges and bigger goals.  Truth be told, a year ago, I never thought I’d be doing things like networking with CEOs or managing external development teams.  But somehow I managed to do these things on a daily basis.

2.  Be more Competative  -  I’m a very laid back person.  I tend to not let things bother me, and pride myself on my ability to keep a cool head.  However, I’ve realized that a lot of times this gets mistaken for a lack of enthusiasm.  I’ve come to realize that being “laid back” doesn’t mean I should just accept failure.  The things that I do, I want to be able to say that I put forth my best effort.  I want to have no regrets.  There’s an old football saying, “leave everything on the field,” and that’s exactly what I want to do.  Whether its PVP in World of Warcraft, a job opportunity, or alone in a gym, I want to push myself to be the best that I can be.  Sounds corny, maybe, but I don’t know how else to explain it.

3.  Expand my network -  While I’m proud of the people I’ve met in 2008, I want to keep up that progress and expand my network even further.  And in turn, I’m going to try my hardest to help other people any way I can.  I want to be a better listener and give support to anyone who needs it.

—–

OBLIGATORY GAMES STUFF

I logged into WoW.  I collected a bunch of presents.  Logged out.  I’m not sure what I’m waiting for, but I have not been motivated to play this game for a while now.

I have, however, been playing Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix a lot lately.  I’m a pretty terrible player, in all honesty.  In fact, I just got rolled 0-5 in ranked matches before I started writing this post.  But I’m getting better.  As a kid, I was always too imtimidated to play Street Fighter at the arcades, becuase I didn’t want to be humiliated.  So I guess it’s good now that I can just be humilitated in the comfort and privacy of my own home.  I’m hoping to improve, mostly becuase then I can justify the 150 bucks for the new Street Fighter Tournament Stick coming out in February.  Not sure if I’m going to pickup SF4 on 360 or PS3 though.

written by Quickoats \\ tags: Games, Goals

I read a lot.  At any given time, I’ve got about 2 or 3 different books I’m trying to read.  So, I figured I’d talk about them.

I read a lot of nonfiction, because I feel like it helps me better myself.  I tend to read a lot of art books, a lot of personal development books, and books about people who face extraordinary challenges.

I do read and enjoy fiction as well, however, I have trouble finding books that suit my tastes.  I tend to read particular authors, then branch out from them based on people who influenced or were influenced by them.  And I mostly tend to read stories about ordinary people overcoming difficult challenges.

—–

I’ve just finished The Bottoms by Joe R. Lansdale, probably best known as the author of the story Bubba Ho-tep was based on (a movie I really enjoyed–I worked for a long time writing a script for a movie influenced heavily by Bubba Ho-tep that never got made).  The story revolves around the discovery of a mutilated body by a 12 year old boy in East Texas, set in the 1930s.  I won’t go into too much detail, but the story had me sucked in and I really cared for the characters.  Lansdale paints a vivid picture of this East Texas town during the Great Depression.  It made me think a lot about my own childhood, and my own stories and adventures growing up.  I thought a lot about growing up in Los Angeles during the 80s and 90s, and how much of that shaped who I am today.

I’m nearly finished with an AMAZING book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Sucess by Carol Dweck.  I recommended this book to a friend, who commented the title sounds a lot like “The Secret” or some other self-help mystical nonsense.  Its not.  Its merely a look at how people approach challenges.  People in what Dweck calls a “fixed mindset” tend to look only at the end result–success or failure.  A “growth mindset” looks at the sum of the experience–what have I learned/how have I grown.  Reading through the book, time and time again, I was blown away but how much I fit into the “fixed mindset” group.  There’s no mystical 15 “lifehacks” to improve your Zen Mindset or anything like that.  But as Dweck points out, just knowing the existence of the two mindsets can help you overcome failures and take on new challenges.

I’m halfway finished with Inside Delta Force by Eric Haney.  I’m a huge fan of David Mamet, who is the creator/producer of The Unit, which follows a group of Delta Force Operators.  Haney serves as technical consultant/co-producer on the show, so I decided to pick up his book.  I read a lot of military books, because I love reading about the struggles soldiers face, and how they overcome extraordinary challenges, and form form relationships based on respect and trust among one another.  Haney’s book is definitely interesting, documenting the early days surrounding the foundation of the unit.  In particular, I was most interested with the training and selection process Haney endured.  It makes me wonder how much determination, endurance, and passion I have and how far I am willing to go for my values and my goals.  It also makes me wonder about the relationships I’ve forged with the people close to me, and how much trust/faith/respect I have for them.  I’m looking forward to finishing this one.

TO READ:  Upcoming books I’m looking to read

Scratch Beginnings by Alan Shepard

Personal Development for Smart People by Steven Pavlina

Lost and Philosophy (GEARING UP FOR THE NEW SEASON!)

The Spooky Art: Thoughts on Writing by Norman Mailer

written by Quickoats

Hoping everyone is having a great holiday.

I had gotten most of the big ticket presents for my family just before my company’s closure, so holiday gift giving didn’t hit me very hard.  I love Christmas, and I love giving gifts.  Maybe its growing up, but I really enjoy giving more than I ever did receiving gifts.  My sisters are really happy with the Wii I got them this year (and I have been enjoying it myself :))  I could never see myself playing the Wii the way I play PC /360/PS3 games, but it really is a great system for social occasions.  My entire family woke up Friday with sore arms from Wii Sports.

For myself, I’m extremely happy with the Kindle my mom suprised me with this year.  Its really a great device, and although personally, I couldn’t justify the price, it really makes a great gift to recieve.  I’ve just finished “The Bottoms” by Joe R. Lansdale on my Kindle, and I’m about 1/2 of  the way through “Inside Delta Force” by Eric Haney.  I’m really looking forward to picking up more books on my Kindle.

As far as books go, I also recieved two really great ones . . . “World of Warcraft: Art of the Trading Card Game” and “Shadowline: The Art of Iain McCaig.”  McCaig did a lot of concept art and character design for the Star Wars prequel trilogy, and his book is excellent.  Although there are a number of pieces from the Prequel art books, overall, its an amazing book.  It even includes pull-out pamphlets with drawing excerises.  The WoW Trading Card Art book is also really cool, my only complaint being that it seems like the Alliance is much for fun to draw than the Horde.

I also recieved some really great movies on Blu Ray, including Planet Earth (amazing), Dark Knight, No Country for Old Men, and Rescue Dawn.

Overall, it was a pretty great Christmas, and now I’m really looking forward to the New Year (and a fresh start).

—-

World of Warcraft update . . . not so good.  I haven’t really had time to logon the past few days, which I think has pissed off my friends.  Truth be told, I’m trying to keep pretty busy, as things can tend to slip when you get laid off.  I’m working on updating my resume, learning CSS, and putting together some other projects.  In my “free” time, I’m mostly watching Planet Earth or trying to get through my reading pile.  The only thing I’ve really played the past few days is Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix.  All I can say is fuck the 360 controller.  I’ll probably use some Christmas money and pickup a decent arcade stick.

written by Quickoats \\ tags: Misc

I haven’t been playing much WoW lately.  I got my Warrior to 66 and my Death Knight to 60, but I haven’t logged on my Paladin for a few days now.

I briefly respec’d to a 49/0/22 Holy Build.  It’s not the ideal 49/0/22 build–I had to sacrifce a lot of useful PVP talents like Unyeilding Faith, becuase my healing gear wasn’t up to snuff and I needed to pickup 5/5 Holy Power and 5/5 Divine Intellect to try and close the gap.  But even with my gimp build, it was VERY effective in BGs–having the Ret crit talents really makes this build shine.  Even with a smaller mana pool than most geared Holy Pallies, I didn’t find mana management to be much of a problem, especially with Divine Plea.

Unfortunately, I still have a lot of farming and rep grinding to do, and playing a Holy Paladin just isn’t going to cut it, damage wise.  It will be interesting to see how this build fares once the change to Judgements of the Wise goes live (increasing seal damage), but right now, judgements are pretty pathetic.

Other than that, I haven’t been really motivated to play much these past few days.  I haven’t played much of anything really.  I’ve been looking at couple of opportunities to get back to a real game studio, but I’m not sure I’m 100% ready.  I just really need to think long and hard about the choices I make, and whether or not my decisions are things I really want, or just something that’s easy.

written by Quickoats \\ tags: Builds, Holy, Paladin, PVP, Warcraft

The startup company I was working for closed its doors Tuesday, which means I’m out of a job.

For most of my job history, I’ve worked as a contract employee, so getting the axe isn’t a huge blow.  I always keep my expenses low, and this time I actually have a nice nest egg in savings.  I left my previous job at a game developer (I worked overtime till my very last day) on a Friday and started work at my new job the following Monday.  So, I’ve pretty much been working non-stop for the past year.  So, I feel like I should take the next couple of days to do nothing, clear my head, and figure out my next move.

I hate job hunting.  As someone who’s taken a non-traditional job path, I really have to work hard to get some kind of notice.  Add to that, I’m pretty horrible in interviews.

I don’t know my next move yet.  One positive in this whole mess is that I feel like I have a lot of options.  I might take some time off to learn some new skills, maybe take some classes.  In all honesty, after working a standard 40 hour schedule for the past 7 months, it would going to be hard going back to a traditional game industry job.

I’m just trying to stay positive.  It’s easy to lose confidence after losing your job.  But I know that I’m good at what I do.  I know I can do any task.  I still have a lot of room for improvement, but i’m ready for any challenge.

written by Quickoats

Well, I didn’t think I was going to do it this week, but I managed to hit level 80 on my Paladin today.

I wokeup this morning around 4am, and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I decided to get a couple bars in WoW, and managed to hit 79 and get about 25% of the way to 80.  I finally hit the sack around 6 or 7 in the morning.  Later, I watched some football and just quested casually through Zul’Drak, getting my rep to Honored with the Argent Crusade.  I digned fighting ice elementals.

Now, the plan is just to get geared up for Arena.  I still haven’t even visted Storm Peaks, so that’s going to be my number 1 priority to get the shoulder enchant from the Sons of Hodir rep.  Second to that, I need to put together a decent PVP set.  After some discussion, I decided that I’m going to have to have both Holy and Ret gear handy, but I’m going to work on getting my Ret gear first.  Right now I’ve got about 3 pieces of Savage Saronite gear, a few rep rewards, and quest gear.  I’m sitting at around 16k Health and 5.9K Mana.

S5 Arena is going to be interesting.  I’ve already run some Strand of the Ancients and Wintergrasp battles, and stats are all over the place.  Most cloth wearers seem to be at around 12-18k, with Warlocks near the end of that specture.  DPS is usually sitting around 14-18k.  The Warriors, DK’s and Prot Pally’s are sitting around 20k+.  (Side note:  I’m seeing a LOT of Protection spec Warriors in BGs.)

Of course I’m aiming to break 20k health, but I’m not sure how viable that’s going to be, unless I’m gemming pure stamina, which isn’t an ideal option.

Finally, I’m looking to hit the honor cap, so when new gear is released, I’ll be ready to pick it up.  I played about 5 games of SotA, (lost the first two, seemed like no one knew what they were doing) and particpated in a Wintergrasp battle.  Netted me about 6k honor.  Not too bad.

I’m really excited about the upcoming arena season.  I didn’t get into TBC until really late in the game, and as a result, I never really had a chance to experience the arena.  I have to say, compared to TBC, leveling in WOTLK was a walk in the park.

written by Quickoats \\ tags: 80, Arena, battlegrounds, Paladin, PVP, Warcraft, wintergrasp

I’m chillin in Dalaran, not really doing much anything today.  Someone is spamming Trade Chat looking for people for a pickup group to kill the Alliance faction leaders.  I’ve got nothing better to do, and I REALLY want that bear mount, so I decided to join up.

First stop was Darnassus, which went off without a hitch.  Caught the boat, ported to Darnassus, and it was just a straight shot to Tyrande.  Healing was excellent, and we took her down fairly quickly.

Next stop was the Exodar, and Valen went down without a hitch.  Same story.  Moving on to Stormwind.

This is where our raid started to fall apart a bit.  Half of the raid caught the boat to Stormwind Harbor, the other half ported to Stonard/Grom Grol, splitting up our raid.  By now, the alliance was getting wind of what we were attempting to do and started showing up, one by one, to defend.  They got taken down, but during the course of the fighting, someone aggro’d Varian, and we were forced into taking him on.  More alliance showed up, and we got him to about 65% before we wiped.  At this point, our raid leader, who did an excellent job of keeping everyone focused and organized, had us regroup near the Duskwood border, where we healed up, repaired, and gathered our numbers.  Our second attempt at Varian went off without a hitch and we managed to take him down.

From there, we headed off to the tram, where we waited and regrouped.  This was a costly mistake, as it gave time for the alliance to mount a force to defend Bronzebeard.  We saddled up from the tram and made our way to Bronzebeard’s chamber where we were met by around 30-40 alliance, and what seemed like a million guards.  Once again, someone decided to aggro Bronzebeard, so we were forced into action.  We wiped fairly quickly.

At this point, we regrouped outside of Ironforge, rounded up the stragglers and rebolstered our numbers.  After about 15 minutes, we made a second charge on Ironforge, directly into Bronzebeard’s chamber.  We were met with a resistence of about 15 alliance this time, which we easily dropped.  We then started on Bronzebeard while our AoE took care of the guards.

Of our 4 fights, Bronzebeard was definately the toughest.  I don’t think many people were prepared for his knockback, and we had a rough start.  In addition, more and more high level alliance were showing up, so half of the group had to break off and take care of them.  It was a long battle, but we finally downed him after about 5 minutes of fighting.  Some of us stuck around to take pictures.  We were then greeted by about 15 alliance players who took down the group stragglers.

I hearhed back to Dalaran and got a nice letter from Thrall and my Black War Bear.  Good day.

written by Quickoats \\ tags: Warcraft

I just hit 78 and I’m feeling confident.  The goal is 80 by Sunday, but given that I’m probably not going to be at home much this weekend, its not looking likely.  Worst case scenario,  I should definately be 80 by the 14th, but it’ll most likely be sometime between those two dates.

I still need to go over our plans for Season 5 arena.  Gear wise, its going to be pretty tight.  I’m most likely giong to wind up heading in season 5 with a mix of quest blues and crafted gear.  The earlier I hit 80, the better chance I’ll have at running some instances to gear up.

The biggest problem is going to be my spec.  At this point, I’ve been collecting healing gear where I can, trying to put together a decent set.  I’m getting more and more comfortable playing Ret, so it might be too much to ask to throw me back into a holy spec on 2 days notice.

I’ve yet to do any organized PVP so far.  All the PVP I’ve done (a STAGGERING 200+ kills . . . Impressive, I know) has been World PVP.  Aside from a couple of instances of dick moves on guys who tried ganked me, I’d say the majority of my PVP kills have been pretty clean.

My biggest problem is remembering I have stuns.  I still suffer from the classic case of TUNNEL VISION whenever I get into a PVP fight.  As a result, I mostly focus on dropping my big attacks and forget about my utility skills.  I really need to work on using Protection and Freedom effectively.  I tend to get caught up in reacting to my opponents moves, rather than trying to work a strategy.

In full disclosure, I’m not really looking to become Season 5 AMERICAN GLADIATOR NITRO or whatever.  This will be my first time actually playing Arena, so I’m just hoping to improve my game.

written by Quickoats \\ tags: Arena, Paladin, PVP, Warcraft